Archive for crohn’s

My Wins

Frustrated with my job (more specifically the mind-numbing lack of) and annoyed with the oodles of hours I’ve been spending seeking other, more gainful employment (what?  the recession is over?  unemployment rates are dropping? PFFT!) I started seeking out sweepstakes and contests.  Christmas is coming and with a big family gathering on the way, there’s lots and lots of little ones (well, teen & under) who need some loot.  Sweeps seemed the way to go.

And it’s addicting.  And, honestly occasionally time-consuming.

But SO MUCH FUN to get that “Congratulations!” email first thing in the morning.  And as someone who’s rarely lucky, never wins anything and is pretty sure if it’s going to rain, it’ll be on me, it’s really REALLY REALLY exciting to get those emails.  I’ll keep a list of my wins & hope I inspire you to go do some sweeps yourself 🙂

10/7

Another book win and I’m really excited about this one.  I originally wanted to give it to one person but now i’m thinking someone else…decisions, decisions.  Haven’t really entered any for today.  Don’t feel fantastic and lack the concentration or desire to sift through what I want to enter blah

10/6

I don’t actually recall entering this but what the hey.  The Wave by Susan Casey from A Musing Reviews

Choice of Jewelry (up to $35) from Fantasy Jewelry Box.  This will be a Christmas present too, now I just have to figure out what to pick!

*on a separate note, the Namaste foods prize pack arrived today with Taco Pasta & Blondie mix to try out.  Can’t wait!

10/5

Ugh.  I missed an email.  It didn’t come with the regular congratulations; I missed my 48-hour respond or die cutoff but am still listed as a winner on the site so we’ll see.  It’s another book…will most likely be a present as well.

HOWEVER

On my facebook feed I see a “We have a winner” post from a site and figured I’d click it just to see.  I hadn’t gotten an email so I didn’t figure it was me.  IT WAS!  It’s a really cool necklace from Michelle Chang Jewelry on Etsy.  I won’t tell you which one, but I’ll tell you which it wasn‘t and which I just LOVE:

click to see the full description

10/4

Today was another double-win day.  Both are going to be Christmas presents but since I don’t think my cousin Hazel surfs much web quite yet, I can say that one of them is for her – a book and a music CD.   Yay!

10/3

Won TWO things today but I’m not posting either as they’re both likely to be Christmas presents 🙂

9/29

From The Cartoon Lovin’ Momma I won this sack of Namaste Foods.  I actually can’t wait to try this because I’m curious to know if [expensive] gluten-free  foods might be a little nicer to my Crohn’s Disease.

9/28

From a goodreads contest for first-read books.   The site is pretty neat too, since I can’t ever think of something I want to read, and am always scared to pick a new author.  This site has lots of ways to interact and the books have reviews from “real” people, not just the ones boasting how great a book is.  My first win.  Yay

..to be continued…

ps – i won’t be posting any Christmas present wins, that’d defeat the purpose, i’ll just post if I won something I intend on using for Christmas 🙂

thanks for the cooties

In case you were wondering, I am still listening to that song over and over and over again.  I’m slightly worried about that.

I hate being sick.  Check that, I hate having a cold/sinus infection.  I would take the pain and suffering of a Crohn’s attack over a head cold.  Does that make me a baby?  I just find it extremely unjustified that when my family lovingly passes the cold cooties on to me it takes me three times as long to recover from it.

It makes me want to cry that only half of my sinuses are so clogged and swollen that I can’t breathe.  I would rather share the misery all around my infected cavities than hog it all to one side.  I think it’s rude.  Oh, you can breathe out of your nose…one side of it anyways.  So I breathe through my mouth and then wake up with a sore throat that feels slick and slimy.

I cannot possibly blow my nose anymore.  Between the free head rush and randomly peeing on myself, I’m sure I’m one tissue away from a ruptured aneurysm.

I declined meds because of possible drug interactions until I could talk to my pharmacist and make sure that I wasn’t going to overdose.  Of course I wasn’t but I had to make sure – even if it meant yelling at Todd for laughing at me for being a total headcase.  Once I had the okay by my beloved pharmacist – I tried Sudafed and there was no improvement.  Then I took Benadryl and those just made me feel worse.

I slept in the chair last night so I could pretend to breathe while I dozed.  When I woke up, my spine felt shattered, my head hurt and I was clogged up – this time on the right instead of the left side of my nose.

And we all know that when you can’t blow out, you suck back so my stomach hurts from the gallons of snot I apparently digested last night in my sleep.  Let’s not even discuss the lovely cookies I’m hocking out of my lungs.

I hate being sick. This took Todd a DAY to kick, and I started feeling bad on Saturday night.   That means by this coming Saturday, I should start feeling better.  Damned compromised immune system.

I feel…

about 7,000 times better than I did last night about this time.  So good in fact that I dragged people out of the house by 9:30 to two different grocery stores (but I was aching a little by the end of the second trip – so much inactivity the past couple days) and then put everything away.  And then, so irritated with my bedroom’s layout (Rach, Todd flipped the bed around so the foot of the bed was where the head was when you were here except the bed was smack in the middle of the room)…anyway, so irritated that I rearranged it all.  I still don’t like it and since Todd does not read this, it’s safe for me to announce that weekend after next – I’m totally rearranging it.  He completely ruined it by walking in on me and then trying to be “helpful”.  Come back when I need the big furniture moved love.

Anyway…point is, I feel great today.  Not really eating a lot, letting my belly settle down.  Truthfully, it’s more of an I’m scared to eat much than I don’t feel like eating lol.

So hopefully the last couple of days were just me catching the bug the girls had and not giving myself enough time to recover.  My fingers are crossed, but I’m not taking how I feel today for granted, that’s for sure!

been down this road before

Really, can I complain?  I have very few flares.  Some people with Crohn’s Disease live in pain like this daily.

It’s been a long time however since I’ve felt this run down.  About 4 (wow, 4??) years.  Okay 3 1/2.  I can’t actually pick one worst thing about this.  The pain?  The nausea caused by the pain?  The inability to move without causing a wave of pain?  Depending so heavily on people?  Feeling just fine one minute only to be replaced by indescribable pain just seconds later?

Depending on people is hard.  And I think it’s because this stupid disease is so invisible.  You can tell people you’re in pain.  You can try to explain that your intestines feel like a soggy washcloth that someone is wringing through their hands.  You can attempt to say that the stabbing pain makes you feel like a colostomy bag might be a good idea.  You can try.  And people can be sympathetic and loving and helpful but the longer the pain lasts, the more moments of “hey, I might feel okay, oh wait, no I really don’t”, the less apt they are…not to believe necessarily…but when it’s something they can’t see or can’t experience…

I don’t know. I know I’d like to perform my own bowel resection right now…with a rusty spoon.  I don’t have any anti-nausea meds.  I don’t have the limodil (which is similar to Immodium but I can tell you as I type this that Immodium doesn’t do squat).  I don’t have the pain meds.  My doctor (and I use the term “MY” loosely because I don’ t really have a doc, just one I see at the same office where MY doctor used to work) isn’t going to prescribe those meds to me.  I’ll have to make an appointment with the Crohn’s doc on Monday, if I can get one.  Ever tried to score a quick appointment with a specialist?

<insert dismayed face right here, then increase the size to about 40 px, bold, italicize and underline…twice>

I hate that I forget what this is like.  I hate the dependency.  The inability to walk 5 feet without wanting to curl up and die.  The uncertainty of leaving the house for things like the grocery store, picking up people from whatever thing they happen to be at or meetings.  Will I make it through the trip without throwing up or having a short blast of diarrhea?

Todd is very good at stepping up and taking care of things.  Except the laundry, but I ruined that a few short years into our marriage.   He’s good at keeping the house clean.  He’s good at getting the kids to school.  He’s great at cooking.  But when he worked at Sara Lee, he could work from home.  He can’t do that right now and he’s trying to get a new position in the company.  We’re also not at a point where we can afford any time off – from either of us, and I’m already looking at my 2nd day off.  I don’t want him using up his vacation time if things are getting bad.  And several of you remember how bad things got almost 4 yrs ago.

In short, I’m miserable.  I’m stressed out, in pain and okay fine I have to depend on people, but really…I don’t even know what to ask for.

Gross.

So every so often my Crohn’s Disease and preference for foods I really shouldn’t eat (though for the life of me I can’t figure out what that was this time around) comes back to haunt me.  As it has for the past ___ days.  It’s only been painfully noticeable for the past 2.  SO I’ve denied myself any actual food since some time yesterday.  And you’d think I’ve denied myself cigarettes or something because I’m about to snap.  I’m so hungry and at the same time not.  I’m tired.  I passed cranky about 12 hours ago.  All I can think about is what I want to eat.  A slice of cheese would be like heaven.  I might donate major organs for a couple pretzels.

But the fact is, if I have to go to the bathroom one more time, I’m going to die.  Really I suppose I should have been paying attention a couple days ago when I was in there more than I wasn’t.  Now I’m just at the point where just the thought makes me want to cry.

There’s been a roast in the crock pot all day and it’s making me more grumpy by the second.  Ashleigh isn’t going to eat it.  I’m SURELY not going to eat it.  Alyssa’s on day 2 of a fever/cold so she isn’t going to eat it.  Lucky Todd and Tyler are going to have a GREAT meal.  Blah.

I wonder how many pretzels I could get for my intestines.  Wait, probably not a lot for MY intestines.   Poot.