Archive for work

burnout

In theory, I have a kick ass job.

Every morning after shaking the teen out of bed and shuffling the twins off to school, I get to sit at my computer – sometimes still in my pajamas (read: a T-shirt and sweats), no shoes, usually I haven’t even brushed my hair, just tossed it in a tie.

If my work is slow, I watch the morning news.  I read several newspapers online.  I facebook, I chat, I farm, I rob and level up.

I can do laundry while I’m at work.  I can clean up the kitchen, make dinner, dead head my plants, play with the dogs and pluck my eyebrows.

I’m home when my kids get home from school, I’m here all summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring breaks.   I’m here to help with homework, make sure everyone gets dinner, cleaned and goes to bed at a decent hour.  I can work when they sleep.  Yep, I have a great job.

Obviously neither the fingers nor the ears are engaged...the brain's checked out by this point, too

In theory.

Except that when I do all that – the laundry, cleaning, gardening – I don’t make any money.  I only make money when my ears and fingers are engaged.  I don’t often need to use my brain thanks to heavy repetition and Microsoft’s invention of the Auto Correct feature.

Except that I work ridiculous hours to get good hours (read: guaranteed jobs) usually from 9-3 and again from 7-12 or 1 in the morning.  Some nights, I just want to get in bed at 9:30 or not feel rushed to get everything done in a certain three/four-hour block of time.

Except that here lately, I’ve started taking work too personally.  My job has made me biased against the entire state of Texas as that’s where the majority of my CPS cases come from.  Rhode Island, New Mexico and Ohio – you’re next on the list.  I find that uneducated, slurring and idiocy are the norms, not the exceptions, when listening to some of these caseworkers.   I can take the varying accents; what I take issue with is the murder of the English language, disregard for basic grammar rules and complete lack of common consideration for the person responsible for transcribing these notes.    I take issue with case loads that have not been dictated since January or even 2009.

I take issue with lawyers (who, in my opinion are supposed to be smarty-pants) who cannot pronounce words they expect me to know how to spell.  I take issue with lawyers talking so fast that even slowing it down manually does not help.  That all goes back to common consideration.

I’ve found most recently that the more I type, the more I come to despise the institution that is the Department of Child Welfare.   Doesn’t really matter the state anymore.  Nor the circumstances, I’ve noticed.  I no longer side with CPS in the majority of cases (certain cases always stand out and make me want to hunt down some idiots who procreate).  But for the most part I loathe their existence.

Surely this must say something horrible about me.

That my feelings are unjustified doesn’t really matter.  (Really, I understand I see only a small handful of cases/situations in comparison to the country)  I’m burned out on this job.

Which only adds pressure.

Which only makes me hate this job more.

Which makes me dread those five minutes before 9am and 7pm when I’m logging in and settling in to type the same crap over and over again.

I’m looking for a different job but as school lets out in about two weeks, this is not the best time for me to decide it’s time to get out of the house.

Why can’t I just win the lottery?